Although football chants are great in a football stadium, they are not ideal to sing at home. Despite jokes not being as simple or catchy as chants, they are still useful in mocking your rivals and can be used in everyday scenarios. Here are our top ten football jokes you can use during Euro 2016 betting and beyond.
Many of these are based around international football teams and players, but you just need to simply substitute in the name of the team or player of the person you’re trying to wind up – you can get plenty of mileage from these classics.
I’m a bit gutted about it; we’d been going out for 3 seasons.”
We’ve all got a bit obsessed with football at some point in our lives, although some of us haven’t stopped our obsession. For most people, their obsession mainly involves watching as many matches as possible. This guy however, took his football obsession to a whole new level.
It’s been 18 years since Scotland last qualified for a major tournament (World Cup 1998), and this streak is set to continue after missing out on Euro 2016. Missing out on this tournament will hurt even more considering that all other UK and Irish teams qualified.
England’s 2014 World Cup campaign was one of the most disappointing campaign’s in recent history. England’s one point was their worst point total in the World Cup, and only the fourth time that England failed to pick up a single win in a tournament. If we believe what João has to say, it seems that England’s campaign was doomed from the start.
England’s major tournament record has not been great in recent years, only going as far as the quarter final since the turn of the millennium. The 2014 World Cup showed how poor England have been in recent major tournaments, by being knocked out at the group stage after three games and only one point. Players, fans and staff will be hoping for a better performance in the Euros this year.
Football Manager is one of the most immersive and realistic football games on the market. For the most part, the game does a good job in simulating the real world. One of the things the developer seems to have nailed on is the Scotland squad and its ability.
Manchester United transformed into a global powerhouse, winning multiple leagues and cups during Sir Alex Ferguson’s reign. Although many things changed throughout his time at Manchester United, there is one thing that remained constant, gum. During his time in the dugout Fergie was always seen chewing a piece of gum throughout the game.
Creating a fantasy football team is one of the most exciting moments of pre-season, but also one of the most stressful. Choosing the players that you think will perform throughout the season is a rigorous and grueling process. Despite going through this process, players’ interest rapidly dwindles in the first few weeks of the season. The remaining players continue to dominate the league table and obsess about their team 24/7.
Since the turn of the millennium, England has only managed to go as far as the quarter finals in major tournaments. Meanwhile, English officials have managed to go a lot further and make regular appearances in the knockout stages. The most high profile appearance from an English referee was Howard Webb when he was in charge of the 2010 World Cup final.
Lionel Messi is arguably the greatest football of all time, winning multiple team and personal accolades, as well as breaking multiple records. Some of his most impressive accomplishments include being the La Liga all-time top goalscorer, most goals in a calendar year, and the most hat-tricks scored in the Champions League. Messi also has 5 FIFA Ballon d’Or’s to his name, and won 4 of them back-to-back! Almost enough to wonder if he’s some sort of deity.
During the 70s and the 80s Liverpool were powerhouses in English and European football, winning multiple league titles, FA cups and European trophies. However since the formation of the Premiership, they have not been able to replicate this success. Although Liverpool has managed to win trophies such as the Champions League and FA Cup, they have still not managed to get their hands on the Premiership trophy. To make matters worse, Manchester United, their rivals, managed to overtake their record for number of English league titles won.
Header photo used under creative commons from jewiethewookie at deviantart.